Presence During Pregnancy

I am a student of yoga and found myself unable to practice after being on bed rest after 8 weeks of pregnancy. Not being able to stretch and move my stress away, I began to focus my energy on meditation. This has been my year of mediation—so much so that I when I was able to return to work (as a teacher) I had decided to incorporate it into my high school English Curriculum. At the beginning of my classes I play soft music and give guided meditation to my crazy off the wall high schoolers who have just returned from lunch or are awaiting the end of the day and are bouncing off the walls. They have come to enjoy it so much that many tell me they use what they’ve learned at home. On the few occasions I don’t do meditation, many of them ask for it.

I first started guided mediation when a co-worker asked me to incorporate it into our summer school program. Never having been the guider of guided meditation, I wasn’t comfortable with it at all but I decided to take on the challenge knowing it would deepen my own experience with meditation. I, after all was new to mediation myself. What could I possibly teach them? I taught them to focus on breathing, in and out of their noses. I taught them that when our minds hold tension our bodies hold tension as well. I told them that we need to release our distractions, frustrations, and things that simply no longer serve us. I taught them the importance of being present.

These were things I was learning myself at the time—they were even things I was struggling with. Like for instance, my greatest challenge has always been to be present. I have this horrible tendency of dwelling on my past and worrying so much about my future that I was almost never present. The only way I knew how to be present was to focus on my breathing because if I was focusing on my breathing I couldn’t think about anything else.

I am now five months pregnant, and I think one of the greatest gifts my baby has given me is the gift of presence. I remember sitting on my couch feeling my mind wander towards worry when I felt my first real kick. It was small but swift and completely took me by surprise. I giggled and thought immediately my baby was telling me to stop day dreaming. With each of her kicks, she brings me back to the moment—the richest moment of my life—this very moment where she is growing and developing into a little person me and my husband created together in love. She reminds that there is nothing more important than us and there is no greater time than now. Now is all we have. I can not remember a time I’ve ever felt more present, more alive, or more at peace. It’s amazing how much we can learn from children—both in the classroom and in the womb.